To Chiang Mai

I left Kanchanaburi on Friday after deciding to forfeit
the easier option of taking the train back to Bangkok
to get the sleeper train to Chiang Mai, in favour of
taking the local buses to Ayutthaya, and meeting the
sleeper there. Basically, there’s no direct route
from Kanchanaburi to Chiang Mai, so you have to either
double back on yourself to Bangkok, or head north-east
to Ayutthaya. Obviously I chose the most complicated
option.

So I turned up at the bus station with all my bags,
managed to find a bus that was heading to Suphanburi,
a midway point to Ayutthaya, and bagged myself a seat
on the back row with loads of floor space, where
everybody’s luggage got dumped. This was pretty lucky,
because the bus got full to bursting point, and I was
the only person who didn’t have someone virtually
sitting on my lap, thanks to all the luggage at my
feet. I managed to change buses in Suphanburi without
a problem, and despite the fact I was the only white
face for miles around, nobody seemed to be paying me
any attention, other than to helpfully point me
towards the right bus stops.

These buses, by the way, are ridiculous. The first
bus I was on basically didn’t work; it took 6 or 7
attempts for the driver to get it into second gear.
So we’d drive along, build up a little speed, he’d
try to move up a gear, fail, we’d slow back down,
back into first, build speed, try second gear,
fail... etc etc. And this happened EVERY time we
stopped. It was kind of hilarious, only not that
much, because it made us about 2 hours late.

There’s no air-con either, but all the windows
and doors are slung as wide as they go, and there
are a few little fans stuck upside down on the
roof, and I suppose the massive gaps in the wooden
flooring provide a bit of a breeze too! I’m so glad
I chose to take the buses; driving through the Thai
countryside, watching the locals hop on and off and
go about their lives, being thrown around on the back
seat of an almost broken down bus, stopping your bag
from sliding out of the open door, it’s definitely
more fun than doing it the easy way!

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know I’m not doing
anything that hasn’t been done a million times
before, but I sat on that bus, plugged into my
iPod, feeling like a freakin modern day Magellan
or Drake or Columbus, and I had this big wave of
euphoria, where I thought, you know what, I don’t
care. I’m here, on my own, in the middle of God
knows where, not scared or nervous, but excited,
and for once, JUST ONCE, I’m going to let myself
soak up the feeling of pride, or arrogance, or whatever
the hell it was that swept through me. And I swear,
for just a few minutes, I held my head just that
little big higher, and breathed that little bit
deeper.

Anyway, the whole thing put me in this reflective
mood, and as my iPod battery died, it took the last
of my euphoria along with it. And I know it’s
horribly pretentious, but all I could think of was
that thing Chris McCandles apparently wrote in his
diary; ‘Happiness only real when shared’. And I think
that to truly understand the feeling, you have to
first believe that happiness can be experienced alone,
from within, and then try to seek it out.

I dunno, I’m not making much sense here, but I think
I know what I mean. I’m aware I haven’t spent several
months in total isolation or anything, but for all
intents and purposes I’m on my own, and, dare I say it,
I know exactly what Chris meant when he wrote it.

I think that at some point I’d somehow managed to
convince myself that Thailand felt like home; and
maybe that was what kept bringing me back here.
But I was totally wrong, it wasn’t that at all,
it was just that I’ve gotten used to being here.
Somewhere along the line, Thailand stopped being
new and exciting and became ordinary. I suddenly
missed home more than anything, well, I missed my
family more than anything.

Speaking of feeling at home, I met this wanker
on the train up to Chiang Mai who, when I asked him
where he was from, answered, ‘Vancouver, but I’m
homeless right now, so I guess Asia’. I figure something
bad must’ve happened for him to consider himself
homeless, so I gave him a sympathetic ‘oh nooo,
how come?’, to which he replied, ‘Because I’ve been
travelling South East Asia for the last Five Months.’
Those capitals are there because that’s how he said it.

He rambled on a bit more but I’d already stopped
listening, which is funny because I didn’t think people
really did tune out when they heard people spouting
bullshit (Honestly, the irony isn’t lost on me here, see
chapters 5 and 6).

Actually, the only reason I’m being so anal about this is
because that’s EXACTLY the type of shit someone else
I know used to pull; just because you don’t have a house
doesn’t mean you can claim residency of a country you’re
holidaying in. Am I right? Probably, but I imagine nobody
cares but me.

To be fair, he wasn’t that much of a wanker; we spent
the entirety of the next morning invading each other’s
personal space (and believe me, that’s not a euphemism,
if only my life was that exciting), and I didn’t have much
choice but to talk to the guy. He wasn’t so bad I guess.
In case you weren’t aware, I now consider myself authority
when it comes to deciding who is and isn’t a dick. Are you
picking up a snotty tone here? Because I certainly am, and
I don’t like it one bit.

Anyway, where was I? After arriving in Ayutthaya, I headed
straight for the train station to secure my ticket, and then
dumped my bag there and headed out for a massage and
some food. I bummed around for a while, got some supplies
from 7/11 and finally boarded the train at about 10pm I
guess.

The wanker guy (see above) was on the top bunk, I
got the bottom. I cannot sleep on these trains as they
don’t turn the lights off all night, and the thin curtain
doesn’t help much. So I got to Chiang Mai, about 3
hours late, and got a Songthaew to my guesthouse.
It’s not so bad here, to say how cheap it is. I’m right
across the river from the Night Bazaar, which is
awesome!

Last night I headed out for food and found an all
you can eat sushi restaurant, which cost 250 Baht.
I made sure I got my moneys worth, and soon
discovered that it really is possible to gorge yourself
to nausea on sushi. I used 20 minutes of my 80 minute
slot, and rushed home for a lie down. I think I had the
fish sweats, it was awful!

Today I got to see a Giant Panda! Well, two Giant
Pandas which Chiang Mai Zoo has on loan from China.
There’s also a little baby panda, who I guess is
about 10 months old, but he was in the back
somewhere and I only saw him on the live camera
thing.

But, MY GOSH, aren’t pandas lovely!! Heeeeeee,
I bought some panda ears so I can be a panda too!

Tonight is the Sunday Market, where they close
down an entire street from end to end, and cram it full
of hundreds of stalls. This place is honestly the bee’s
knees, I cannot wait!

Tiger Temple

One of the reasons I went to Kanchanaburi in the
first place was because I’d heard about somewhere
called Tiger Temple. An American couple had described
it as a sanctuary; a rescue centre run by monks who had
apparently taken in some tigers from zoos and drug dens
and the like, and were giving them a better life.

I suppose I should have listened to the two Thai people
who had told me it wasn’t a nice place, but I thought
maybe they had some kind of ulterior motive, only don’t
ask me what.

I hired a bike and off I went, onto the highway that I’d
been on a couple of days before, and which I knew
would lead me in one long straight line all the way to
the temple. A half hour later, I realise I’m not on the
right road, but figure it’s too late to turn back, so I just
keep driving. An hour after that, I’m in the middle of
nowhere, nothing but farmland for miles around,
completely lost, but feeling optimistic about finding
my way back onto the main road.

Then I start smelling rubber, and the back tyre goes
flat. I keep driving along at about 3mph until I see a
little Thai house set off the side of the road, so I pull
into their yard to see if they have any inner tubes lying
around, which they don’t, not that it would have made
any different anyway, because the entire tyre, inner
and outer, is shredded. Bollocks.

There’s a little old Thai man and his wife sat outside
the house, who assume I need gas and start fussing
around with a petrol container. I do some pointing,
and they get the general idea, and then this old Thai
guy starts speaking pretty good English, and tells me
to sit down and wait, and he’ll go fetch his friend,
who I guess is a mechanic or something.

20 minutes later a truck pulls into the yard, we
load the bike up, and drive a few miles back the
way I came to what is essentially a junk yard. They
don’t have a spare tyre, so the mechanic guy buzzes
away on his motorbike to track one down.

The little Thai guy is hovering by my side the entire
time, constantly talking about how he learnt English
because he likes to help foreigners. I must say, I was
pretty impressed. He told me he practised English every
day, and I imagine he couldn’t believe his luck when I
turned up on his doorstep. He made me recite months
and days to him, and correct his pronunciation, and then
I made him do the same for me in Thai, and he was very
impressed indeed that I knew my days of the week!
Yeah, some use it was learning that.

Anyway, an hour or so and 500 baht later and the
other guy has successfully tracked down and fitted
my new tyre, and I’m free! Well, sort of; my new
friend starts insisting that I come back to his house
with him to see his ‘sculptures’ and to watch him
play his Spanish guitar. Is that what they’re calling
it these days? I kindly decline, and get out of there
quick sharp, kob khun ka-ing all the way.

I start wondering whether I’m just not meant to go
to this Tiger Temple place, and start thinking about
cutting my losses and heading back to Kanchanaburi,
but I’ve been pointed in the right direction, so I decide
I might as well check it out.

To cut a boring story as short as possible, I wish I
hadn’t gone. You get dragged round by the arm and
told to kneel down next to the tigers while they take
your picture. I found the whole thing really
uncomfortable and awkward, and how anyone could
have found it otherwise completely baffles me. But
everyone seemed to love it. One Australian guy told
me he’d found it ‘exhilarating’, and nobody seemed to
suspect that the reason the tigers were so conked out
could be down to drugs.

After the picture taking farce, you can take your time
wandering around the rest of the park, where they have
some younger tigers which you can pet, and a few
other animals. My favourite was a tame deer, which
was all licky and lovely.

I had a long conversation with a young Australian
volunteer, who had been there 9 months and had
since packed up her home and moved out permanently,
but I had the distinct feeling I was talking to a robot, like
she’d been brainwashed before she’d been allowed to face
public interrogation.

I headed to the exit with a group of people, who asked me
which bus I'd come on. I told them I'd come on a bike and
the reaction was hilarious. They were like, what you came
ON A BIKE all the way from Kanchanaburi!? You know
there are WILD TIGERS out here right?

Hahaaa, actually, no, I didn't know that, but thanks for
making me look super badass. They all loaded onto
their respective buses, and I imagined they all watched
in awe as I zoomed away on my motorbike.

Anyways, I went, I saw, I won’t be going back.

Hammocks and Swings

I’m sitting in the restaurant looking out across what
looks like a corn field, through which a lane carries
old European style cars and rickety bicycles. I feel a
bit like I’m in Ukrainian countryside, like in that movie
with Elijah Wood. That was set in Ukraine, right? But
the illusion gets ruined by the jungle covered mountains
in the distance. I guess the reality is better than the
illusion anyways.

I got picked up from the railway station on Monday by
a man on a motorbike. Carrying my backpack on a bike
is no problem if I’m doing the driving; at least then the
weight of it is supported by the seat behind me. But I
wasn’t doing the driving, and I think I almost snapped
my stomach muscles trying to save myself from toppling
off the back of the bike. Literally ever time he accelerated
a little I thought I was going to die.


The place where I’m staying has a swimming pool. A
freaking SWIMMING POOL! It’s called Thai Garden Inn,
and there are a few bungalows set around a super cute garden,
complete with hammocks and swings. I love it here; I decided
to stay for 4 nights instead of 3, with the intention of spending
an entire day by the pool.

Yesterday, Tuesday, I got up early with the hope of securing
a bicycle; apparently this place has free bikes to rent, and I
had bought a t-shirt a couple of days before with a bicycle on,
so I thought it was a SIGN, and plus I thought I’d look pretty
awesome riding a bike wearing it.

But then I got told that there was only ONE bike, but it
was broken so I couldn’t use it. But I was like, uh well,
I wanna go bike riding. And he was all like, tough, you
can hire a motorbike instead for 250 baht. But I said, well,
I want a bicycle! And we went around in circles for a while,
and he eventually went off and came back 10 minutes later
with a bike pump. Broken my ass. So 5 minutes later he
wheeled out the miraculously fixed bike. I rode it to the top
of the drive and back, and decided I’d walk instead. It was
the shittiest bike I ever saw.

Sooo, I got into town and hired a motorbike from somebody
else, to make a statement about the crappy bicycle. I visited
the Bridge over the River Kwai, and then took off on a
mega road trip

I drove until my eyes watered. Kanchanaburi is a nice place
for driving. There’s hardly any traffic on the roads. On either
side of me was farmland, and beyond that, the mountains. I
had to dodge cows that had wandered on to the road. Well, I
 say cows; they look more like freakishly massive goats with
big floppy rabbit ears.

I stopped at an elephant village, set right on the river. Then
I headed for Nam Tok, where there are a few waterfalls,
caves and the like. After that I drove for AGES until I came
to the Hellfire Pass Memorial Museum. I like a bit of culture
after dinner.

It was pretty hard hitting. The Hellfire Pass is a cutting,
made by Australian and British POW’s for the
Thailand – Burmese railway. They were tortured and
starved by the Japanese and Korean’s, and were worked
until they died, of exhaustion, malnutrition, cholera or
tropical ulcers. After looking round the museum, you can
follow a trail along the death railway until you reach the
Hellfire Pass and its memorial.

It was pretty interesting, because I’d never ever heard
of the construction of the Death Railway before, and now
I feel bad about being so ignorant. I drove over 200 kilometres
yesterday. That’s a lot of mileage to do on a bike; my arms
were tingling by the time I got home.

Today is Wednesday, and I had planned to do nothing
except get up late, hang around the bungalow and do some
swimming, but for some reason, and I have no idea why, I
find it completely impossible to stop moving for any length
of time and relax.

So I got up at 7 as usual, went for breakfast at 8, went
for a swim at 8.30, took the bike back at 9.30, walked
all the way over to the Bridge and the markets, visited the
Jeath War Museum, had a couple of strawberry shakes in
a pub with beloved wifi, where I booked a hostel in Chiang
Mai and Pai, bought my Japan rail pass, and then made
friends with a Thai family who turned all Japanese on me
and wanted pictures of them with me!


Then it felt like it was going to start raining so I just headed
back to the guesthouse for some dinner and a nap, before
hopefully heading to a night market tonight!

Bangkok -> Kanchanaburi

I’m on the train from Bangkok to Kanchanaburi, and a Thai man

came and plonked himself down next to me. He has been working 

as a taxi driver in Chicago for the last 20 years so I think he wanted 

to talk to the white girl, despite there being plenty of empty seats 

on the train. 40 minutes in, conversation run out, is it rude to turn 

my laptop on? I just don’t know, I wish I wasn’t so socially awkward!

Anyways, I’ve been in Bangkok for the last 7 days waiting for my Indian 

visa to come through, which it did on Friday, but I decided to hang 

around another couple of days because Lynette invited me to a BBQ 

at Shirley’s.

I was properly dreading spending a week in Bangkok, but I’ve actually 

had a pretty good time, and I haven’t yearned to be back on Samui once!

I was staying at a little guesthouse called Bluefin, a Thai style wooden 

house miles away from the horror that is Khao San. For 200 baht a night 

I got a room in the house, just a single bed and a little table. But the 

house was amazingly clean, there were showers downstairs and I was 

in an area of Bangkok where I was stared at for being the only farang 

around. It was awesome!

The only downside was getting around, as I had to get a motorbike
taxi to the skytrain if I wanted to get anywhere quickly.
The pier was about 10 minutes walk away though, and from 

there I could get anywhere along the Chao Praya river for 13 baht.

My little room got the brunt of the morning sunshine, so I tried to be 

out of my room by 9am, otherwise I started to melt. This was a bonus 

I guess, because it kept me out and about all day; having no air con 

or tv or even a place to sit is probably the best cure for laziness.

Sooo I’ve had a few daytrips, I spent a few hours at Dusit zoo, and 

took a trip to Chinatown, Wat Po and around Khao San with Lynette 

and Steve, who was also staying at Shirley’s apartment. I went 

shopping, lots. And to the cinema lots too! I figured out that the 

ultimate way to spend a roasting Bangkok afternoon is sat in an 

air conditioned cinema. Lynette and I went to see Alice in 

Wonderland in 3D, it was completely wicked! I’ve never seen 

a 3D movie before, but it’s definitely the future!

Yesterday Lynette and I spent 5 hours at Chatuchak weekend 

market. I must have been to this market 5 or 6 times, but I don’t 

think I could ever get bored of it. I bought some stuff, and then 

we headed back to Shirley’s for the BBQ! I watched Ben 10 with 

Shirley’s 2 boys Finley and Ethan, I miss cartoons! I’m sure lots 

of other things happened too, but I’m rubbish at remembering 

these days!

My spare time, i.e. between 7 and 8am, is taken up planning 

India. My cousin Daniel is coming too, which I’m really excited 

about! I just really home everything works out, because the 

responsibility will sit firmly on my shoulders; I have sorted 

flights, trains, accommodation, EVERYTHING. And while I’ve 

loved every minute of it, I worry that my dad and Dan having 

a good time is dependent on my planning skills. It’s like being 

a host, some people thrive at it and some people don’t. I 

freaking hate being a host, I’m paranoid people are having a 

bad time.

So it’s been a pretty good week really, but boy am I glad to be 

heading out of Bangkok! Kanchanaburi is famous for its Bridge 

over the River Kwai. I don’t know a thing about it, other than 

what I read on wiki the other day. Something about the Kwai 

not even being the rivers name, so they had to change it.  I 

should probably try and be more cultured when I visit places 

like this.

I just bought some noodles. And then the Thai man, whose 

name is Norman (!!?) gave me his card and told me to ring 

him if I have any trouble in Kanchanaburi. I’m off to eat my 

lovely noodles now, laters!